The Puzzle that Haunts Me

The puzzle is almost done (see above, it gives you the general idea). My life is revolving around this damn puzzle and it's making me (more) CRAZY!

Todd finished the water part on Sunday morning after I found the soggy, chewed, and well-loved MISSING piece on the rug in the living room. If the piece wasn't already almost black, I would have killed the Wieners. After we left it out to dry and sort of formed it back to it's original shape, Todd used the wonders of SHARPIE to make it looks like it belongs. They are so lucky...this time...

Jack wasn't home this weekend until last night, so I put overtime in at work. Have I mentioned I hate working weekends? There is the quiet solitude of being in the building by myself, but since all I had to look forward to afterwards was running errands and paying bills, Saturday sucked the big one all the way around. Jessica did come over for dinner and saved me from misery and kept me company while we worked on the PUZZLE, but then she was depressed because she spent a Saturday night at home with the Rents working on a puzzle. I do always say nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

After my monthly breakdown after paying the bills, (TODD!!! We are PO! We need better BUDGETS and we need to ECONOMIZE! Reduce, reuse, RECYCLE!!) This goes on for about an hour, then I calm down and all is well. My poor husband, between pms and the monthly bill breakdown, I'm surprised he hasn't gone running screaming from the house. Oh wait, he has. Nevermind.

Todd is actually doing a really good job getting RID of some of the VALUABLE stuff he has stowed away in the basement. You can see half the floor in his office downstairs and he has been listing things on EBAY like a mad man. YEA! (Insert Amy doing Happy Dance.) I am a minimalist. I hate extra stuff, and clutter, and crap. Todd collects things, lots and lots of things. From tools to drums, Todd loves it all. Ick, ick, ick!! Maybe, I just need drugs. Strong, take-the-anal-out-of-the-Virgo drugs.

If you find some, let me know, Todd would be forever grateful.

Becky Homecky Volume 4 How to Survive Life in the Cube Farm

I don't talk about my job because, well, it's boring. If I had an exciting job, like, say, a U.N. Ambassador or, maybe, a top notch photographer for the paparazzi, a US Navy Fighter Pilot, a high class call girl, or even a stunt man in Hollywood, I'd have all sorts of interesting stories to tell about my days at work. But, alas, I'm a keyboard monkey in a cube farm. Sigh.
Spending your day in the confines of 4 padded walls does a lot to test your sanity, so I took an informal poll of how we cope and survive the Farm.

Here are the results:

Donna- coffee, IM, stretching, coffee, kvetching (I think that's yiddish for bitching)

Jessica- I don't.

Phil-Well, being demented, insane and half-blind has helped a whole lot.

Kathleen- How do I survive? I write to people I used to work with and make them think they're my friends. I like messing with their heads. Not you guys. Other people I used to work with.

Karin- It grows on you, kinda like a fungus.

Nathan-I have to say that having Phil demented and half blind does make it easier. Past that I do a lot of giggling and rocking back and forth.

Roberta-Define surviving.
Amy- Um, are you dead, yet?
Roberta-Define dead.

Nathan-I did see Roberta roaming the halls moaning "braiiiinnnssss" over and over again..

James- One day at a time... and just barely. And I don't call it the cube farm... I call it Jail.
And the following is a list of necessities that makes it just barely tolerable:

1. i-Pod
2. Coffee
3. people to talk to that don't suck: like you, Joy, Jill, Adrianne, and about twenty other friends that I email everyday constantly rather than actually working
4. hangover remedies, such as Chasers: http://www.doublechaser.com/
5. sarcasm
6. think about jobs that have been worse*

* drawing a blank (just kidding again, I love it here!!!! - see #5)

Well, there you have it. Emails, instant messaging, web surfing, taking walks to get away from your desk, lots of coffee, and drinking heavily when away from the office.

Sorry this is our Thursday column on Friday, but we're swamped, so suffer.

I'm So Puzzled!

So, does spending 10+ hours working on a jigsaw puzzle in my jammies qualify me as a bum? I haven't decided if I feel productive by doing that or lazy. I'm leaning toward lazy, but I DID get the WHOLE CITY done and now all I have left is the water and sky. I bonded with our dining room table and my butt hurts from sitting on those wooden chairs for so long, but I'm ALMOST DONE!!!

The only person in the house that actually got dressed for the day was Ross, the rest of us never even made it to the shower until late Sunday night. Todd even took the movie back in his jammies, though I think he did put shoes on instead of wearing his slippers out the door. Speaking of the movie...

Friday, we watched the Fantastic 4, and I have to say, it wasn't fantastic. I fell asleep to avoid the pain of watching it. Ugh.

Earlier, Jack had his first Gross Science class at Pershing and they dared the kids to eat the mealworms on their cookies, and neither Jack nor Luke would eat them. No big shock, neither one of them are really the adventurous type, and Luke won't even eat a banana, so worms are a pretty big stretch.

Saturday, Jack and Luke went to LEGO camp at the Science Museum and Todd, Ross, and I went and saw the Baja movie at their theater. It was ALMOST as lame as the Fantastic 4. Sigh. All I can say is, thank God their movies are only 50 minutes long.

After dinner, which was the highlight of the day since I made these KICK-ASS potstickers and Todd, Jack, and I totally pigged out on them, I think I made 60 and there were about 5 left at the end of the night. Ross wouldn't even try them, because, well, he and Luke have something in common about picky eating (ask Jessica about the HOT DOG incident someday...seriously, she still hasn't forgiven him). I then sat myself down at the dining room table until midnight working on the puzzle from HELL. I sat there almost all day on Sunday, too. Occasionally, Todd would come by and add a couple edge pieces to the top, Jack would bounce by or sit and read for a few minutes, Ross would saunter through the dining room with a look of complete boredom on his face.

We are so lame...I know, I know.

Since I kept obsessing (I know ME obsess??? NEVER!!!) about the whole terrorism thing and why would anyone want to kill thousands of innocent people ALONG with themselves, and since I was spending HOURS putting together a puzzle of buildings that were not even there anymore due to aforementioned mentioned terrorist attack, Todd has decided that he is going to teach me about brainwashing and everyday he's going to yell in my face, "YOU NEED TO DRIVE YOUR CAR INTO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER AND KILL EVERYONE" to see if it works, and to see if I start to understand how people can terrorize and brainwash each other. Problem is, every time he does it, I start LAUGHING. I guess I'll never be a suicide bomber, so I better find something else to do in retirement.

And there are so many job openings I hear!

Becky Homecky Volume 3 How to Dress for Court

Now this is at the forefront of my mind because I have to go down to the Family Justice Center at 10:30 this morning. Yes, HE* was found guilty of contempt in November and we all have to go back to make sure he made his first payment. I know, it makes no sense, they should have put it out 3 months or so, but he was raked over the coals by the judge and she wanted to be sure he was following the order this time or he's going to go to the WORKHOUSE..ie, JAIL.
Last November was a painful month. I HATE going to court, I HATE giving that man the time of day and I HATE even more that he uses Jack to try to make him look good. I royally screwed up and I pay the price of that mistake every day. It took 5 years for the court system to finally hold him responsible but they finally did, and for that, I am very grateful.

But, I digress...

Rule #1: If you are the one on trial for contempt for non payment of child support, DO NOT show up to court wearing a black designer suit and expensive shoes. I would suggest something that makes you look like a working class guy who is down on his luck.

Duhhhhh, and you ask "what in God's name was he thinking?" We haven't figured that out, and we gave up trying years ago.

Rule #2: If you are the person who is supposed to be receiving the child support, dress down...go for dowdy, and make sure anyone who goes along for moral support does the same thing. I suggest jeans, and the pair that makes you look the worst, the ones you hardly ever wear because they make your butt look flat. Make sure you wear that one sweater you have that you can't get rid of because Great Aunt Martha knit it and now is in the great Yarn Store in the sky, but you never wear it because the color makes you look like you are just on the verge of yakking up your Fruity Pebbles. For your hair, go for the pony tail, and not very neat. I suggest, maybe, day three from the last wash. This is not the time to impress the judge on how great you can look when you really put the effort into it. You are wearing the pain of not receiving your court ordered child support, medical insurance premiums, day care costs, attorney fees, and the laundry list of things he was supposed to give you back but never did because he gave all your stuff away so you couldn't have it. Remember, by the time you actually get to court, we are talking about 10's of thousands of dollars, so let's not dress to impress, ok?

Later...


Ok, so all of this is in good fun, because we know that it really had nothing to do with what I was wearing, but the fact that he came across as a complete ass munch that was trying to get out of paying child support. As it turns out, today was not much different. He said he never got the Motions we filed, even though they were mailed to his house. He didn't want to pay the extra 35 dollars a month to help with day care in the summer because HE doesn't use it (which is a total lie, Jack WANTS and DOES to go all five days), and he told the judge he didn't believe I maintained health insurance, even though he has used it when Jack was with him. Sigh. He also said that he didn't want to pay for half of Jack's kindergarten tuition because he was going to get the church to pay for his portion. Well, um, yeah, they wouldn't let him come back if the bill wasn't paid. Another, SIGH.

I told myself I was not ever going to talk about this situation, but I am breaking my own rule because I want to make one thing perfectly clear: what I really want is for him to get a normal job, pay his obligations to me and everyone else and be a decent human being. Lying in court and trying to get other people to pay your debts is STEALING and really, really bad karma. My son deserves to have a father he can be proud of, and that's what I really want for Christmas, Santa.

On a lighter note, Jack and I had a fabulous time at the mall on Monday. I was supposed to meet my friend Jan for coffee, but we missed each other because we were at opposite Starbucks. Oops. I don't call it Hugedale for nothing.

I did get another pair of my favorite JEANS, and I bought three sweaters on clearance ($7.49, $9.99 and $11.99, woo-hoo!) since I finally retired my furs and Todd did a little happy dance to that since he HATED them. If you missed them at Christmas, you can find pictures of them HERE and HERE.

Jack won a stuffed dog at Camp Snoopy and he got a diamond shaped crystal that he SWEARS will be used to fight the powers of evil on the school bus. I know, it makes no sense to me, either.

This weekend, we have both the boys, and Jack is having a sleepover with his best friend Luke. So my weekend will be filled with LEGOS and video games and made up games I can't follow, and boys running all over the house with walkie talkies.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.



*if you don't know who I'm talking about...email me and I'll fill you in.

It's Sunday and I'm at Work

Yes, it's sad but true. I'm getting a lot done, so it's ok, but my mind keeps wandering while I'm reviewing files:

Why is it that it's 85 degrees in here on Sunday and 50 on the days people are here to work? Do they keep it cold so we won't fall asleep at our desks? Gawd, I'm sweating. I wish I would have taken a shower this morning. I know, OVERSHARING!

Whenever I walk down our big, wide corridors, I have this monsterous desire to do cartwheels all the way down the hall. Unfortunately, I never learned how to do a cartwheel.

Taking horse pill size vitamins with Diet Pepsi is a REALLY BAD IDEA....and I thought the vitamins tasted gross all on their own. ICK!

Later...

Must...stay...focused...on...files... (head hits desk over and over and over...)

Even Later...

Ok, it's time for me to go home (and shower!). I'm off tomorrow and playing Mom with Jack all day, so I hope everyone has a great Monday!

The Fun Never Stops

Overheard Conversations at the Cube Farm:

Amy: James! Guess what! Todd and I are going out tonight!

James: Oh, really? Where are you going?

Amy: Dusty's! We need to get there early so we can make the Meat Raffle!

James: The meat raffle? You're kidding.

Amy: No, really the meat is from Hackenmeullers, they rock!

James: I am silently judging you....


Well, we made it there by 4:45, so we are officially really old, since we are eating dinner on a Friday night at 5:00. They make these fabulous Dago sandwiches things that are sooooo bad for you but soooo tasty. We got home at 6. Our big night out. BUT, we won at the raffle and came home with 2 Porterhouse steaks on the first drawing! We were the envy of everyone there! Not that that's saying much, but IN YOUR FACE JAMES! I'll think of your cynicism while I'm chewing on beef tomorrow night.

As a side note, I should say that James is one of my favorite coworkers since I live my life vicariously through him. He is about 10 years younger than me, and has a WAY more exciting life than I do. He keeps me up to date on all the restaurants and bars that are THE places to go (ok, not that I ever go out, but it's still nice to be in the know) and he loves giving me crap about being old, which I feed into since I always need to share about married life with kids and scrapbooking.


Oh, and the tree lights FINALLY went off at 7:31pm on Friday the 13th. The decorations are all off the tree my Christmas light vigil of 49 days is done....until next November!

Thursday Groovy Gravy Lesson Numero Uno

One of my oldest memories of my grandmother Edna was standing on a kitchen chair stirring her white sauce on the stove. If I stopped for any reason (having to pee didn't count since she knew I could hold water like a camel) all hell would break lose in the kitchen because the sauce might get that nasty skin on top or BURN or even spontaneously COMBUST! OH NO!
None of these things ever happened, at least in my memory, I think the worse thing that happened was my hand got numb. I look back now and wonder what in God's name I was doing because gravy doesn't require that much stirring. Since I suffer from early onset senility, I won't try to figure it out, but we'll just go forth and feel free to skip this if the last thing you want to learn is HOW TO MAKE GRAVY!!!

I married a man who believes gravy and/or sauce should accompany each and every meal with a side of bread to sop it up. Just the other day, I made a roasted chicken and 4 cups of gravy for the three of us. Jack had, maybe, a tablespoon. I had, maybe, slightly more because I put some on my mashed potatoes. Todd had 2 cups. Seriously! 2 cups on his mashed potatoes and chicken. I looked over at the flood on his plate and suggested an extra plate for the green beans so they wouldn't get lost.

There are few perfect matches in this world, but my talent for making gravy goes along perfectly with Todd's desire to consume it. That, and the bread, but that's another post.

Gravy (or sauce, whatever you prefer to call it) has only a few basic ingredients: liquid, a thickener, and seasoning. Now, we are going to start with uber basic white sauce/gravy 101. This is also my version of Edna's never-finish-stirring white sauce: 2 tablespoons of butter, melted in the pan...throw in 2 tablespoons of flour (this is called a roux) and you stir it until it starts to bubble and just barely changes to a darker color (hint: I said barely). this shouldn't take more than a minute or two over medium to medium high heat. Whisk in a cup of milk and a dash or three of salt, pepper, and nutmeg. You would rather go light on the liquid since it is SO MUCH EASIER to thin a sauce than it is to thicken it. This is your standard Norwegian white gravy. If you used olive oil for your fat instead of butter, and added a beaten egg to it, you would have Greek Bechamel.

WOW! The things we have learned!

Now, quadruple it, and that's how much I need for a normal meal.

Ok, we are going places and are moving into gravy for poultry or whatever other bird you feel like eating. Personally, I get all my meat in those cute pink packages at the grocery store. Easier to deny they were once alive that way.

Now we are going to assume you roasted said bird. Roasting has a lot to do with gravy. The thing is, we need poultry bits to make good gravy, and fat, and FLAVOR!!! So, that said, roast your bird in a pan deep enough for you to have chicken stock in the pan without it sloshing up over the side when you lift the pan in and out of the oven and don't let it dry out during roasting. I roasted our last turkey breast side down in about 3 cups of stock and flipped it over half way through cooking time so the breast darkened and stayed moist. This gave me enough liquid to make gravy, but because of Todd's desire to smother everything in gravy, I still needed more liquid, but the stuff in the cans works fine, just go with the low sodium variety, since the other stuff gets way too salty and if you use that, you might as well buy the crap in the jar.

After your bird is removed from the pan (side note here....did you know that you can roast an ENTIRE chicken in your crock pot? NO LIE! Just buy one of those flavored whole roasting chickens and put in about a cup of water in the bottom of the crock...low for 8 hours and you are DONE! Though, I like to take the lid off for the last hour so the top kinda dries out and it's not so mushy, but we know you don't eat the skin, anyway, because it's full of fat and BAD FOR YOU!!!) ok, I got lost...oh YES, remove bird from pan, and just sacrifice a couple large pot holders to the laundry for this, it's really less painful than trying to move a hot turkey around with utensils, and you already used them when you flipped the bird halfway through baking, so just tent with tin foil for a while to rest while you make the gravy. Dump entire contents into a large fat separator or a big jar. The fat will float to the top and this is what you want FIRST. Eyeball it and measure in the same amount of flour. If you were paying attention, the general amount is 2 tablespoons fat and flour to one cup liquid. Keep this in mind for HOW MUCH YOU NEED. For Todd and a turkey, I need at least 8 cups, which is 16 tablespoons of fat and flour. Yes, that is the equivalent of 2 sticks of butter, for those of you counting. I use olive oil if I don't have enough fat from the drippings. It may not really be better than butter, but it's a mental game I play with myself.

We now have a roux (did I forget to tell you it's pronounced roo?). Remember the part about cooking it until it JUST starts to darken. Then, start to add your liquid and use more chicken stock when you run out of the stuff from the pan. This is when I add seasonings...like pepper, and more salt, if needed, be sure to taste it first. I always add a few drops of liquid beef broth syrupy stuff and a couple drops of worcheshire to add some body to the gravy and so it's not too bland. You can also add poultry seasoning, or pretty much anything else that sounds good. Cooking sherry, for something different, or a bit of red or white wine will add some depth. Just keep in mind that the sauce thickens slightly as it cools and remember, it's a lot easier to make it thinner than it is to make it thicker (we aren't even going there but call me if there's a gravy emergency).

Special tip of the day: if you prep your gravy boat with HOT water for about 5 minutes prior to serving, your gravy won't get cold by the time you sit down and fight the dish away from the gravy hogs at the table.

I know, I know, this was not an exciting post, but I can't tell you how many times people have asked me how to make gravy. I have, literally, gotten into arguments with people over the difference between Bechamel and Norwegian white sauce because they are dumb and don't know I'M ALWAYS RIGHT! Ok, not always, but on this topic, most definitely.

As always, email me with questions, amyswenson@gmail.com and I will do my best to bestow upon you my vast knowledge and cooking expertise.

Also remember, I'm really just a legend in my own mind.

Have a great weekend!

Monday, Monday, la la, la la la la

This is their new favorite spot, smack in the middle of the sofa on the chenille pillows their little claws have pretty much destroyed. Ginger only lifted her head long enough to see what I was doing and then went back to sleep. A very good indicator of our weekend.

I was vexed by the puzzle. I spent HOURS working on the dang thing only to have to destroy all my hard work when we had 6 people over for Sunday dinner. By the way, I made this AMAZING Brazilian Black Bean soup and the kids all loved it! Seriously, Cathy and I kept looking at each other thinking no one would touch it, but we just served it and the picky eater even asked for seconds! No lie, it was really good and I think it helped that I doubled the meat in it. Nothing like sausage and bacon to call to the young, growing adolescents.

I also have a confession: my tree is still up. I know, I know, I was GOING to take it down and put the Christmas stuff away, but it was the PUZZLE. It was calling to me. Then, I had to color my hair, then I played with my new deep fryer, then, the day was over. I am terrible. But, the tree still looks good, and I'm hoping to at least get the ornament box from the basement and have it stare at me guiltily until I put them away. I'm good with guilt. It's a motivational tool.

We also have a new addition (almost) to our family. Jack now is the proud father of an empty fish tank. It's only 10 gallons and is now getting ready to be a home for some new fish. I think we are going shopping for them tomorrow. I know nothing about raising fish, so I anticipate we will have lots of funerals around our bathroom bowl. I'll post pictures when we get our new fishes.

Busy day, I must get back to the grind, I'll leave you with this joke for the day:

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!"

Thursday Becky Homecky Advice Column

Out of pure stupidity and boredom, I have decided to grace the internet with my endless knowledge of all things I pretend to know about. We all have questions we don't know the answer to and I, as your fearless leader, and my panel of experts (read: other women I work with) will answer all of your questions regarding life, liberty, and the pursuit of clean laundry.

Now, I have been called Martha by my friends (until I found out what a skank she really is and burned all her books and cancelled my subscription to her magazine) and my loving family has a tendency to call me June (as in Cleaver, I think it was partly because of a dress I was wearing last Father's Day) so in my book, that gives me right to be deemed EXPERT. We are pretending, so play along.

With the help of some of my close and dear friends I give you the Thursday Becky Homecky Advice Column, Volume 1.

Dear Amy,
How do I make a good Mocha?
Your Loyal Fan,
J

Dear J,
We are going to assume you are not driving to your favorite coffee shop and you are trying to accomplish this great feat at home.
First of all, you need an espresso machine, you can use a regular coffee maker, but it lacks the, shall we say, glamour and excitement of a real frothing, noisy, counter hogging piece of machinery we all have come to know and hate.
Secondly, you need decent coffee. Espresso is made with a dark roast, so find your favorite, try to have it as fresh as possible, and grind it very fine. No big chunkies in it, either, because that's just icky.
I use Nesquik, yes the bunny stuff. 2 HEAPING TABLESPOONS or more, it's cheap, and keeps in the cupboard for months. Froth your milk by filling the frothing pitcher only half full, tilt the pitcher slightly, and try to froth the edges and get the milk spinning. Test the heat by feeling the bottom of the pitcher. Since it's all about sequences, it goes, Quik, espresso, and my secret ingredient a drop of Mexican vanilla, mix together, then add your delightfully frothy milk.
Now, if I was doing this for a special occasion (and I can only come up with bridal and baby showers), and not for daily consumption, I would use the expensive chocolate syrup, and whipping cream, with only a small amount of milk. This will give you a uber-rich mocha that makes your mouth sing and your love handles flop up over the top of your pants.
Good luck.

Dear Amy,
How can I keep my pets from shedding all over the floor?
Your Favorite Libra

Dear Libra,
Shave them.

She didn't like that answer, so she refined the question:

How come I can sweep, then swiffer, and still have hair globs on the floor when I mop?

We went round and round with this one. I am a firm believer in the power of the vacuum...and make sure yours sucks like a cheap whore. Gross, but true. Start at a doorway and work your way through the room, keeping the expelling air toward the clean parts as much as possible. Then use your hose to get into the corners and under the furniture. I can get my upstairs vacuumed in 15 minutes, 25 if I have to vacu-dust along the way. It's the best thing for your floors, since so many of us have hardwood and the sand and grit that gets hauled in on our shoes this time of year is murder on our shiny beautiful floors. Remember, it's not about being perfect, it's just about getting it DONE so you can get on with your life. Reward your hard work with a hot toddy or maybe even a MOCHA!

Thanks for tuning in to the first ever Becky Homecky Advice Column, and stay tuned for more expert advice on all things I deem interesting enough to write about.

If you have a question you would like me to answer (anything is fair game), email me at amyswenson@gmail.com I promise to keep everyone anonymous.

Have a great weekend!

Peace and Tranquility

There is something to be said for starting a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle. There's the obvious time commitment, the space commitment (I added the leaves to our dining room table to accommodate the thing), and the fact that you actually HAVE to finish it or you will feel like a complete failure as a human being. I know this because last year we gave up on a 1000 piece puzzle of Bart Simpson that was the tiny picture in picture puzzle that finally drove us mad. I have one piece of it sitting on my china shelf as a constant reminder of my failure. This gift, though Jack asked why my aunt would torture us with such a complicated puzzle, will be my savior, my chance to redeem myself as a part of society. I started it last night, with Jack lasting about 15 minutes, and me putting in a couple hours and I got about 75 pieces together. It will be a good winter project and I will be gluing it together and hanging it in my cubicle. Yes, those are the twin towers in New York. I was the one who called my aunt and uncle and told them about the attack since they were up north at the cabin in their own little world of wood ticks and deer without the benefit of constant streaming news. I think the picture will be a wonderful addition to my new plan of Cube Decor 2006...more on that later...

Speaking of the cubicle here in the farm...it's actually nice to be back to the quiet and normalcy of the cube. Things here don't change...files come in, files go out. I never talk about my job because it's painfully dull. At this point in my life, dull is good. Maybe someday, I'll want the excitement of a jet set lifestyle and the thrill of climbing the corporate ladder and stepping on all the little people on my way to the top, but not today. Today, I'm happy with my quiet padded walls, my big mug of chai, and my mp3 player.

It makes the vacations all the more meaningful.

If You Build It, They Will Come

I went to the grocery store yesterday due to the fact our food supply was extremely depleted due to the mass clean out before we left for Breckenridge. It was a poignant moment as I drove up to the door. The bell ringers are gone (I'll have quarters in my purse again!) all of the spruce tips and wreaths have been either sold or just gotten rid of since the holidays are over (I believe we a day or so of Hanukkah left, but the Jew in me doesn't know.) Everything just looks so...empty. It's the annual coming down of the holiday season. Sigh.
Now, we had a great Christmas, don't get me wrong. The kids got tons of stuff; they were very happy with their haul this year. Todd bought me more appliances I really don't need, but he wants to see me use the huge deep fryer a couple times a year and laugh as I try to store it the other 363 days. That, along with a new pressure cooker, is DIGITAL and therefore WAY BETTER than my old one which took forever to get up to speed. So, if anyone wants a baby fryer or an older pressure cooker, let me know, they will be going to the Shelter if left unclaimed.

So, here is a rundown of our week away...

We left on Christmas Day and headed out West. We were planning on stopping in Des Moines for the night, but since we made such good time, we kept going until we were just outside of Omaha. We realized this: Motel 6 is icky. They have no lids on their toilets, which is so wrong and the beds are doubles. They had no extra bedding and one extra pillow in the whole place which I begged off the Front Desk person. It was Christmas Day, so all the restaurants were closed and we ate at this truck stop where the food was greasy and underdone. Not exactly the perfect start to our trip. The kids did get to swim in the pool, which made them happy, but Todd and I decided we'll spend the extra money and find a nicer place from here on out. I did discover that they are one of the only chains that take pets, which is why we heard barking all night from the room down the hall.

On Monday, we arrived at Walt and Myrna's. YEA!
Here's a pretty picture of the group:
It was about 60 degrees when we arrived, so we spent some time looking around their house and property. This is their backyard:
Nice, huh? Very little mowing required, too.
Molly, Pete, Jesse, and Julianna and Jake came to have dinner with us, which was very nice since I haven't seen Molly and Peter for about 7 years and I hadn't met their children, which are both adorable, of course. Jake is about 9 months old and reminds me SO much of Jack when he was a baby...chubby, cute as a bugs ear, and loves everyone who feeds him. Besides the chubby part, Jack hasn't really changed.
We left the next morning for Breckenridge. We got checked into our condo, bought food, and Todd and Ross planned out their conquest of the mountain for the next day. Todd took our picture of the momentous occasion of checking in:
Um, no, those aren't OUR condos, they just looked a lot nicer than ours, so they were included in the back drop instead. Don't get me wrong, ours was fine, just small and without an attached garage...or more than one bedroom...or room to breathe....we had a hard time finding a place that would take us for only two nights, so I'm really not complaining. After the Motel 6, it was heaven.

Todd took Ross to 20 stores so he could find JUST the right goggles to complete his ensemble:
Just leaves you speechless, doesn't it?
Jack and I went poking around the town of Breckenridge while the boys were skiing/snowboarding and we built a snow fort outside in the 59" base of snow:
I think it was bigger than our condo.

The next day, our family ski instructor, Todd, gave Jack a ski lesson and Ross went back to the mountain. He was able to get quite a few runs in since he was going solo...they let him jump in front AND it was snowing, so every time down was fresh powder. It was great for him, even though there wasn't someone there to see his awesome moves on the slopes.

What did I do, you ask? I read about 5 books while we were gone. Nothing too noteworthy, just filling time and using parts of my brain that have been tending to rot lately.

On the way down the mountain, we stopped at South Park:
And Ross had his picture taken with Mr. Hanky:
For those of you who don't know about South Park and Mr. Hanky...don't worry, you aren't missing much...he's the Christmas Poo..and it's a sick, sick cartoon, don't watch it.

Here's us, right before we got back in the truck to head home:
I don't know what Jack was looking at, but it was WAY more interesting than posing for ANOTHER photo. I think it was the dogs, or the cat, or maybe it was a beaver. Who knows.

So, all in all, it was a great vacation, we ended up hauling booty back home and we got back on Friday night/Saturday morning at 1:00am. We were going to stop for the night, but everyone wanted to get home and sleep in their own beds, so Todd was the trooper and just barreled us back to Minneapolis. We made it home in 13.5 hours.

Let's not talk about fracturing the occasional speed limit, ok?