JOY to the World!

There are some people in this world that you meet and you think, hrmmm, what is up with them? They are always happy and friendly and outgoing and always say "HI!" and seem like they have the most wonderful disposition and outlook on life. Kinda like Elmo, or Big Bird, or Mr. Rogers. We are, obviously, not talking about me. As a matter of fact, one of my friends says that I am so critical of others that she isn't talking to me... Now, I beg to differ on that point, most of the time, but I do have my moments and some people are just too easy of a target. I never do or say anything out of maliciousness, or to be mean but I do let off-handed comments leave my lips (or fingers) more often than not (remember that guy from the bank with the weed-wacker hair) and I also have a husband to not only encourages my snarkiness, but makes me seem very tame in comparison. So here is the point of this post: I'm a bad person and will make my New Years Resolution to be more like my friend Joy.

I work with Joy and I have, kind of, known her since I started working at Gmac about 2+ years ago. She always greeted me with a smile, and a "How are you?" like she actually cared. Then a few months ago, she was moved into one of the cubicles next to me.
When it's Joy's turn for treat day, she brings in enough food not only for our team, the neighbors team, the team next to them, but the WHOLE DANG FLOOR!
The weekend after Thanksgiving, she brought in these cute stuffed cows that MOO's Deck the Halls for about a dozen of us. Joy's friend makes handmade soap, so she bought enough to give all of us a bar, then two. The worst thing I have ever heard pass her lips is "Training people is really hard work and then I feel like I don't have time to get my own work done." That's it. She was born and raised in Georgia in a poor family, but has a heart as big as Texas and is the most generous person I know, not just with money, but I mean a truly caring and giving person.
Last week, she plopped several Pampered Chef things on my desk and said "Merry Christmas, I know you really like to cook, I went to this party a few weeks ago." I was flabberghasted. I said, "Joy, I can't take this from you! This must have cost a fortune!" She told me that she "adopts" a few co-workers to give things to at Christmas time, and I was the recipient this year, but won't be next year, so just enjoy, and last year it was a single mom who needed to get her car fixed.

I felt so unworthy.

Ok, so her excuse was that I give her vitamins when she's sick and give her tea in the afternoons and I brought her English Toffee and truffles that I had made. I've invited her to dinner at our house, since she lives in Missori and travels up here to work, so her "home" up here is the Residence Inn...but we all know I feed everyone and bring food, tea, and vitamins to all since I have that leftover 70's health-nut mothering syndrome from MY mom.

So, to sum it all up, I resolve to be a better person, tame my temper, keep my nasty and snarky thoughts to myself, and to eat more fiber.

I wish you all a Happy New Year and I will fill you all in about our ski trip when we get back, since I'm finishing this post from a library in Breckenridge.

Peace to all!

Merry Christmas, Merry, Merry Christmas!

Remember when I said I was stealing Todd's morphine when he's old and on his deathbed? Well I lied.

Last Night...

Todd: Remind me to change the names on the presents. The ones under the tree are wrong.

Amy: What are you talking about?

Todd: I had you put the wrong names on the tags.

Amy: What??! Those hand made tags I made with the stamps are WRONG??!! Why would you have me put the wrong names on the presents??! Are you insane?

Todd: Because it's funny.

Amy: No, it's not! I'm not making more tags! That took forever! Did you think we were going to go around shaking the presents to find out what was in them?

Todd: Just making sure.

Amy: You're on crack. Go get a Sharpie and do it yourself.

I have a new idea: discount nursing home.

The Hunt!!

And here is the site for our official "kill" of this year.
Note the day-glo orange of Jack's hat and mittens
so he is not mistaken for a tree and cut down.
It almost happened last year, so don't laugh.

Oooo, that's a pretty one, I like that one.

"No, I like this one, better", says Todd.
Ok, but it looks an awful lot like the one I picked out.

Ross isn't really into the hunt this year.
What is that on his legs you say?
Didn't you know the official tree hunting gear is...

Oh, yes, holey jeans and tennis shoes. Where have YOU been???
Note, Jack in the background having issues with his socks,
so he stops in the middle of the trail to take off his boots
and pull his socks back up. The thrills of the hunt.

Todd's been working on the tree, and decides to have Jack catch it.
Note, those jeans. First time he's fit into them in about 10 years. That's what happens when you take away a mans Fritos.
Nice behind, honey! Heh Heh Heh.

Ross pulls away our prize-winning "kill" of the season.
This one's a keeper.

Um, yeah, we couldn't take the Yukon because Todd
isn't ready to let anything as harmful as a Christmas Tree
sit on the roof, yet. I guess 3 accidents and 5 paint jobs
aren't enough to make him feel like we've gotten
the first scratch on it, so we all crammed into the Jeep.
I still think the best thing about the Jeep is the NRA license plate holder.
It makes the other moms look at me very oddly at Jack's
super liberal Catholic School. But then, we all know the truth:
the last time I shot a gun, I dropped it. Oops.

So here is the tree later that night after the
Christmas Tree Meltdown of '05.
Yes, I had all those presents waiting to go
under the tree on the 26th of November.
Why, weren't you done?

Hahahaha, ok, total lie, that picture was taken today.
The tree looks kinda sparce, but it looks nice in person.
I haven't turned the lights out since the 26th, because
I'm afraid they won't come back on.

Thanks for tuning in to our annual hunt, and I don't want to
hear from all you tree huggers that think it's WRONG to cut
down a perfectly healthy tree just so I can have it as a
trophy in my home. You will have to pry that saw out of my
COLD DEAD HAND!!!

Get it? NRA Joke? Nevermind.

I'd like to take what's in the box, Monty!

So I was getting grief from one of my Libra friends who doesn't even start her shopping until Christmas Eve (Ok, so I started in October, but I didn't write ANYTHING down until November) she was once married to a Virgo (I think I cause her flashbacks to her marital days) and says there are two words to describe me and those two words are Anal Retentive. I'd argue with her, but it's the sad, sad truth. You see, those two presents up there are underneath my Christmas tree. The large one was wrapped by Todd and the smaller one was wrapped by me. I did both the bows and, yes, the one Todd wrapped is actually for me. This isn't as surprising as what happened the next day.

Amy: This box has been sitting on the floor here for a couple days.

Todd: It's waiting for you to wrap it.

Amy: Oh, Ok. (She goes and gets wrapping paper and makes a pretty bow for it, adds the jingle bells, goes and gets the tag, which she made with her new stamping set she bought so everyone could have their very own hand made tag because why? Oh, yes, it comes back to that retentive thing....) Wait, Who is this one for?

Todd: You.

See, Todd understands that I have this control issue with the tree (do we remember Christmas Tree Meltdown of '05?) and I like all the presents under it to MATCH. Why? Beats me. I think it just gives me a sense of control in a world full of chaos.

Who's the other one for, you ask?

You'll have to wait until Christmas to find out.

I Love Ray

It all started with that fateful night when Amy fell in love with Todd listening to Bob Schneider sing Big Blue Sea.

Let's fast forward...through searching for BOB information, since he's just the greatest, she finds...

New IM buddy Brian: Hi Friendy
Amy: Til the endy, how's Wendy?
Brian: Trendy
Amy: Hey, where's the new Bob stuff?
Brian: I retired.
Amy: WHAT???? I NEED MORE BOB!!!
Brian: I'm listening to Ray LaMontagne.
Amy: Who the hell is that? Ray La Whaaaa???
Brian: www.raylamontagne.com

And the rest, is poor hubby's history.

Amy purchases (yes, and actually PAID FOR WITH REAL MONEY) The Trouble disk from Ray LaMontagne (pronounced La Mon Tane). She excitedly brings the cd home for Todd.

Todd: What the hell is this crap?
Amy; It's awesome, he has the most amazing voice, you have to listen.
Todd: He sucks.
Amy: No really, he's fabulous.
Todd: He sucks.

Todd and Amy proceed to listen to the Trouble disk, as they go to sleep, every night she doesn't fall asleep on the couch, for the next several months. Ok, so that's only 3-4 times a week, but STILL! Todd complains every night, "Do we have to listen to this crap again???"

Later...

Todd and Amy get married, like with a real priest and everything, and much to everyone's surprise, they don't spontaneously combust when they step into the chapel. They pick out music for the reception and Todd says, "You have to have all those Ray whatever songs on the wedding CD." Amy looks at Todd with that "I won, you SOB" look on her face, yet says, "Sure, thing, honey, pick 3."

Later...

Amy finds out RAY is coming to Minneapolis 3 months from current date. She freaks. She finds out presale tickets go on sale and she tries to buy them, yet she's FOILED!!! Sold out after 1 day, DAMMIT!!!

She sets up a playdate for Corpse Bride with youngest son and best friend. They are going to see the movie downtown, and play video games at Game Works, which happens to be conveniently located across the street from the theater where Ray will be playing in 2 months. Muh ha ha ha.

Slam dunk, no one else was even there, we played video games, saw a movie, and Amy got her tickets 2nd row center on the floor!

Night of the big event....

They are escorted to their seats that, for some reason, were in the BALCONY!!! WTF?

Amy, being extremely uspet, goes to talk to floor manager and explains the situation, and where she actually was told she purchased tickets for this now sold out show. Floor Manager leaves her standing in a sea of Yuppie D.I.N.K.S. and she groans.

Floor Manager returns and says, yes, you are correct, and I will put two more seats in the FRONT ROW for you.

AWESOME!!!!

So the show was fabulous, Ray was amazing and Amy and Todd went home happy.

The End.

Let There Be Light!

American Hero Museum Entry Number 18

Jack

Invention of the Electric Lamp

Paper on LEGO

December 2005

Jack wrote his report and did all the typing. Then, you spin the frames around and

VOILA!

Thomas Alva Edison complements of the internet.

It was a family effort; Todd soldered the Christmas bulb from one of our many broken strands (remember Christmas Tree Meltdown of 05?) to a lithium battery. I helped design the house, and Jack built and searched, and searched, and searched through thousands of LEGOs to find just the right pieces we needed.

He better get an awesome grade or I will sue.

In the Meadow We Can Build a Snowman

I love Christmas. I spent 5 hours running errands and shopping on Saturday and I have to say, it was glorious. Ok, not the money spending part, that is always icky, but I am so good at living in denial, I can ignore that in December. I was planning on finishing up on Sunday, but I got a call from Joanne and we put together a big care package for Andrew since he's stationed in Iraq. So, I spent all day Sunday baking. Jessica came over and she did all the dough making and I just kept cleaning up after her. Flour was flying everywhere, and I have dishpan hands, but I got everything done I wanted to for Andrew's package. Then, I started freaking out that I didn't get any of the other errands done then I realized IT'S ONLY THE 4TH OF DECEMBER!

Oh, yeah, I have 3 weeks left.

On Saturday evening, Todd and I went to a surprise party for one of his cousins. Let me set the stage:
Elk River (ie, bfe), basement of random bar, 100% smoking participation of said patrons of bar, classic rock music played by DJ, Todd and I knowing one person there.
I could go into a lot more detail, but I think it's more fun to let you imagine. I can say that even though the anti-smoking policy of Hennepin county is wrong, I wasn't feeling that so much when I was trying to get the smell of stale smoke out of my new winter coat, hair, skin, clothing, and bedding the next day. And, I USED TO SMOKE! Ick. Filthy habit, I'm glad I quit.

I did find out that Todd still gets invites to his high school reunions and now I want to go to one since I will never go to mine. I graduated from High School in Jackson, Mississippi, and I believe it would take a team of wild rabid horses to drag me down there again. I left about 12 hours after graduation and have no desire to return. not. ever. I just want to go to one so I can laugh and make fun of all the old, fat, and bald people. Ok, so that's not very Christmasy of me, but I am human, after all. And a bad petty, petty girl.

We turned in Jack's Thomas Edison project today and I took pictures so I could post them for all of you to see, but alas, they never came through, so I'll do another post with the project and our annual Christmas Tree Hunt.

In the meantime, enjoy the picture of Jason's dog, Oscar, whom I believe, is suing for defamation of character due to antlers.