Becky needs a vacation...

What can I say? I've been working a lot lately. 2 fifty hour weeks back to back tend to run me ragged.

Todd's new mistress, High Definition Television, consumes most of his home hours...along with his electric drum set. He wasn't kidding when he asked "Why do I ever need to go upstairs??" He also still hasn't grasped that I REALLY DON'T CARE and would be happy with my 10 year old CRAIG 19" TV. I said that to him, and he looked at me as though I was speaking French, which is the WORST thing I could do...and don't get him started on Normandy. (Todd: "The water was RED WITH THE BLOOD OF OUR BOYS!!! And they did NOTHING!!" yadda, yadda, yadda, be happy you got the short version.)

Oscar is "vacationing" at Grandpa's house, since he kept giving Ginger the "look" (see polite term for climbing on her at every opportunity and following her around with his snout up her koochie koo) and growling at everyone when they got close to her. Yes, she's still in her "season" (see polite term for bleeding like a stuck pig) and we will get her fixed as soon as it's over. There's still a part of me that wants puppies. There's also still a part of me that wants more kids, but then I come to my senses.

We are taking a vacation from April 2-5th and I haven't told Jack where we are going, only that it has a salad dressing named after it. Heh Heh Heh.

Jack: "Ranch? Dorothy Lynch? Blue cheese?"

Amy: "Ha ha ha, um, no."

Jack: "Awwww, come on tell me!!!"

Amy: "No, this is one of those times it's fun to be a parent so you can torture your kids."

Jack: (digging through the fridge) "France? Caesar?"

Amy: "Hrmmm, no. Keep guessing"


Next, I'll tell him it rhymes with ballerina.

And Where Did Becky Go?

Well, Becky's been putting in overtime. 50 hours last week and more this week and I seem to remember working OT through a cold.

This picture was taken Monday. We got 8 more inches of snow today.

I'm tired.

Sooooooooooooo tired.

We are so busy at work, it's crazy insane.

Todd is booked to May.

I worked 13 hours today. T H I R T E E N H O U R S. Oh, wait, I did leave for 15 minutes to get food. Ugh.

I need a spa day. I need a full body wrap/exfoliate/peel/wax/massage/masque/tranquilizer.

My house is a mess.

My dog is in heat.

My other dog keeps trying to eat her diaper...while she is still wearing it.

We are getting her fixed.

No puppies, the Ants pushed us over the edge for pets.

They are fun to watch.

Though, it may be fun only from exhaustion.

I am tired.

I am rambling.

I need a vacation.

I am going to Catalina in...wait, what's the date??? Oh, ok, 17 days.

I will lay there and do nothing.

I heard the buffalo are gone.

Todd and Jack will snorkel.

I will lay there and do nothing...but maybe get a tan and fry.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............................

Houston...We have High Def

Phone Rings...

Amy: (Sitting at work on SATURDAY at 7am, ugh, don't ask) Hello?

Todd: I'm never leaving the house again.

Amy: Got the broadcast channels to work?

Todd: Just slide the food under the door.


Later...

Amy: Ok, I got the stuff here to make sushi. Todd? Where'd you go?

Todd: (running downstairs) Don't worry, honey, I'm coming!

Amy: Wrong direction, wait...you're talking to the tv aren't you? (Amy peers down the stairs to see Todd standing in the hallway with the soft glow of the tv reflecting off his body as the rays of High Def pull him in like a tractor beam from Hell.)




The next morning...

Todd: (from downstairs) Amy! Come here!

Amy: What is it?

Todd: Look at the nature shows in High Def! Look at that picture!

Amy: Todd, I don't know how to tell you this, but I F&%$ing DON'T CARE!

Todd: Fine, go away Infidel!!

I'm hoping the novelty will wear off soon, but for some reason, I highly doubt it. When I said I hear they make midget porn in High Def, he said "COOL! Get some! I'll watch anything in High Def!"

Ugh.

I am...a horrible person

We know I have issues.

Little Devil on Left Shoulder: "HA! Amy, your issues are so pronouced, you don't have to tell ANYONE you have issues."

Little Angel on Amy's right shoulder: "Look how far she's come! She is going to the gym, eating good, and trying to be a good person. She even goes to church, occasionally."

Little Devil on Left Shoulder: "Boy, she has you fooled."


Ok, so, I'm not the best mom.

Jack: Mom, can I have another granola bar?

Amy: That's the 5th one today. How about an apple?

Jack: How about a cupcake?

Amy: Here's a granola bar.


And not the best wife.

Todd: Wanna go upstairs?

Amy: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, snort, snort, schmack, snort, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(it happens if I fall off vertical...it's genetic, ask anyone).


And, definitely, not the best employee.

(We aren't going there, so use your IMAGINATION)


But I do try.

We have 10 fish, 2 dogs, and 25 or so ANTS coming. Yeah, I actually ORDERED ants to come into my home for Jack's new Ant Farm. $3.00 for 25 didn't seem like a bad deal. It included shipping!

I never wanted pets, I lost a bet.

I cook, every night but Wednesday. I clean the house once a week, or more often, if it grosses me out. I donate to charity (but, really, only for the tax write off), I give to the food shelf (but only stuff I shouldn't have bought in the first place), I'm not allowed to answer the door anymore because I'll give money to everyone just to get them off my doorstep. Don't even get me started about the US Census people. How they caught me at home by myself is BEYOND me, since it happens so rarely, but, after Todd and the boys came home, she knew why I hadn't received the previous 5 notices that they were trying to get me to do the long form.

Todd: Don't you dare tell her anything about me.

Amy: Um, Todd doesn't exist. Forget everything I told you.


But, I have the anal retentive issue of PERFECTION.

I want to be PERFECT.

But, I am not sure what that is.

I get caught up in the minor details of life...

A look into Amy's brain:
"What should I wear today?"
"What should I do with this pound of pork loin?"
"What can I do to make Ross hate me less?"
"Oh, boy! A meeting! I get to escape my desk for an hour!"

There are people who have so many greater difficulties than I do, yet, I ignore them all.

So, if anyone has an idea on how to get rid of this guilt I carry for being so much less than perfect, and so self-centered, please let me know.

I'll be waiting for your answer while I sit here and alphabetize my spice rack, it seems a few have gotten out of place.

Nope, still not dead.

We joined the YMCA.

(insert song here)

My back fat is starting to creep over my jeans and Bubba's come back from his year-long hiatus. Ok, granted, we've been eating like crap lately, and it's mostly my fault. I am the one making the fried bologna sandwiches at 9:00 at night and I am the one who bakes all that French bread and makes strawberry meringue clouds for dessert and it is me who cooks CONSTANTLY. It gives me a sense of control in a world full of chaos. I just happen to be making myself and my family into porkers in the process. Out of pure guilt over the late-night bologna, I went to the gym this morning at 5:15 am. Yes, MORNING. I got home at 6:20am...which is earlier than I usually drag myself out of bed on a normal Tuesday.

Guilt. I have lots of it. We spent a good chunk of the weekend at the "Y". I am bound and determined to really use it and make Todd, too. It helps that our fee will be cut almost in half from Blue Cross Blue Shield if we both go 8 times a month. Nothing like dangling that carrot in front of me to motivate me to go....well, that, and the thought of trying to squeeze my post holiday fat into a swimsuit. Ewwwww.

Other than the over-eating habits of the family, I am finally over my cold. Todd is booked out until May. Jack is doing well in school and is reading like a mad-man. His favorite author is Bruce Coville, who writes Science Fiction for youngsters. Ross is excited to join the "Y" and go to the new facility they built in Andover. Andrew is coming to the states for a couple weeks this month and Todd ate one of his boxes of Girl Scout Thin Mints. Sigh. Sorry, Andrew, I wasn't looking for a second! We've been babysitting Cupcake a lot, since Jessica is traveling a bunch for work. It's like mini-dog chaos in our house all the time. I really think she believes she's just a really furry wiener dog. Ginger has learned to love her, too and quit trying to beat her up all the time.

It's cold and rainy and the perfect night for hot-dish (dear God, did I say that???) and it would be a great night to stay in and curl up on the couch and watch a movie, but, alas!, I have to go to the 1st Communion parent meeting at church. The sacrifices I make as a Catholic guilt-ridden mother.

We have no children this weekend, I plan on working overtime, if I can get it, because, though I try to collect money, it seems to slip through my fingers like grains of sand through the kitty litter scooper.

Have an awesome week!

Hello? Amy? Did you die???

Alas, no, I'm still with the living, sorta.

I STILL have this damn cold, though it's v e r y s l o w l y leaving. Every day is a little better than the one before it, but, yes, it's been over a week and a half. Stupid me even put in overtime last week, because, I'm a dumbass who loves money.

Let's see, what have we been up to....well, I've been working, Todd's been working, and Ross came over Saturday to hang out with us since he had strep throat and wanted a change of scenery from a new couch. Or he wanted to spread it around...I'm kind of suspicious. Jack 's been doing the Jack thing, and we are babysitting my granddoggy Cupcake until Jessica gets back from Kansas.

Amy to Cupcake the 5 pound Pomeranian: "YEA! Mommy's in Witchita and coming home tomomrrow!! Woo Hoo!" To which, Cupcake goes nuts and prances around the house.
I could tell her "YEA! We decided to shave your body and sell your fur to the less fortunate!" and as long as it sounded good, she'd be all for it. As Jessica says, "She's beautiful, she doesn't need brains." So true.

I DID find out Sunday, that nothing makes your long-ass cold feel better than a solo trip to the mall to shop for things you really don't need. I think I was inspired by the overtime in my paycheck, so, um, yeah, it's pretty much a wash.

Other than that, I'm super busy at work, barely surviving otherwise, but at least I look hot in my new duds and accessories.

And as Fernando says, "It's better to look good, than to feel good."

If you remember that, you are officially an old fart.