Overheard Conversations At My House

Todd: I saw you win the US Open last night.

Amy: What the???

Todd: It was you, only 20 years ago. Some chick that plays tennis. She's tall and lanky and can't control herself, just like you must have been when you were 19.

Amy: I hate you. I live in solace that you will always be older and fatter. I want her body, though.

Todd: Wow! Me, too!


Later that day...


Jack: I'm going to fill this squirt gun with spit and shoot it at girls.

Amy: Um...okay...good for you, you aren't allowed to date until you are 40, anyway.