I am...a horrible person

We know I have issues.

Little Devil on Left Shoulder: "HA! Amy, your issues are so pronouced, you don't have to tell ANYONE you have issues."

Little Angel on Amy's right shoulder: "Look how far she's come! She is going to the gym, eating good, and trying to be a good person. She even goes to church, occasionally."

Little Devil on Left Shoulder: "Boy, she has you fooled."


Ok, so, I'm not the best mom.

Jack: Mom, can I have another granola bar?

Amy: That's the 5th one today. How about an apple?

Jack: How about a cupcake?

Amy: Here's a granola bar.


And not the best wife.

Todd: Wanna go upstairs?

Amy: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, snort, snort, schmack, snort, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(it happens if I fall off vertical...it's genetic, ask anyone).


And, definitely, not the best employee.

(We aren't going there, so use your IMAGINATION)


But I do try.

We have 10 fish, 2 dogs, and 25 or so ANTS coming. Yeah, I actually ORDERED ants to come into my home for Jack's new Ant Farm. $3.00 for 25 didn't seem like a bad deal. It included shipping!

I never wanted pets, I lost a bet.

I cook, every night but Wednesday. I clean the house once a week, or more often, if it grosses me out. I donate to charity (but, really, only for the tax write off), I give to the food shelf (but only stuff I shouldn't have bought in the first place), I'm not allowed to answer the door anymore because I'll give money to everyone just to get them off my doorstep. Don't even get me started about the US Census people. How they caught me at home by myself is BEYOND me, since it happens so rarely, but, after Todd and the boys came home, she knew why I hadn't received the previous 5 notices that they were trying to get me to do the long form.

Todd: Don't you dare tell her anything about me.

Amy: Um, Todd doesn't exist. Forget everything I told you.


But, I have the anal retentive issue of PERFECTION.

I want to be PERFECT.

But, I am not sure what that is.

I get caught up in the minor details of life...

A look into Amy's brain:
"What should I wear today?"
"What should I do with this pound of pork loin?"
"What can I do to make Ross hate me less?"
"Oh, boy! A meeting! I get to escape my desk for an hour!"

There are people who have so many greater difficulties than I do, yet, I ignore them all.

So, if anyone has an idea on how to get rid of this guilt I carry for being so much less than perfect, and so self-centered, please let me know.

I'll be waiting for your answer while I sit here and alphabetize my spice rack, it seems a few have gotten out of place.