Becky Homecky Volume 6 How to do your Taxes
1. Spend several months lecturing your spouse, who is newly self employed, about the importance of saving receipts.
2. In November, start freaking out regarding Tax Season approaching.
3. Remind spouse weekly and sometimes, daily about the importance of saving receipts.
4. Start having panic attacks in January regarding 1099 and w-2's arriving.
5. Set aside ENTIRE WEEKEND in February to do taxes.
6. Take soothing herbal teas for a whole week before the Tax Weekend and check wine stock to be sure there's plenty. Also, send spouse to update Social Security records so the social matches the name because otherwise, WE CAN'T FILE ONLINE. That, would totally suck.
7. Go out and have a couple glasses of wine the night before and live in complete denial of what lies in wait the next day.
8. Wake up early and start sorting receipts.
9. Keep sorting and matching to credit card statements, picking up the dog every 5 minutes because she HAS TO BE IN YOUR LAP when you are sitting in your office chair.
10. Praise Allah when your spouse walks up and hands you a giant stack of receipts he had kept in his clipboard.
11. Jump to let the other dog out every 5 minutes because he keeps seeing BUNNIES in the yard and rings the bells to go out, which, after years of training, also means I HAVE to let him out, or he will forget what the damn bells are there for.
12. Yell at spouse to put the effing dogs in their kennels or you will eat them for lunch.
13. Spend the next 3 hours firmly attached to office chair and muddle through online tax program, thanking God that you can access everyone's old information through the saved files on your desktop.
14. Curse program because WHY DOES IT HAVE TO CHANGE EVERY YEAR?????
15. Realize you are getting money BACK (WOOHOO!!!) because months of lectures paid off and spouse saved every receipt possible down to the $1.02 cash receipt from the hardware store. That, and the fact that mileage is deductible at 48.5 cents per mile means spouse can make money just driving around the block.
16. File online.
17. Get notification that you have to file on PAPER because the IRS says your birthdate doesn't match their records, neither does your spouses name match his social because GOD FORBID if they update their records!!!
And finally
18. Call travel agent and arrange post-tax season trip to anywhere else but home because, dammit, you deserve it!!
2. In November, start freaking out regarding Tax Season approaching.
3. Remind spouse weekly and sometimes, daily about the importance of saving receipts.
4. Start having panic attacks in January regarding 1099 and w-2's arriving.
5. Set aside ENTIRE WEEKEND in February to do taxes.
6. Take soothing herbal teas for a whole week before the Tax Weekend and check wine stock to be sure there's plenty. Also, send spouse to update Social Security records so the social matches the name because otherwise, WE CAN'T FILE ONLINE. That, would totally suck.
7. Go out and have a couple glasses of wine the night before and live in complete denial of what lies in wait the next day.
8. Wake up early and start sorting receipts.
9. Keep sorting and matching to credit card statements, picking up the dog every 5 minutes because she HAS TO BE IN YOUR LAP when you are sitting in your office chair.
10. Praise Allah when your spouse walks up and hands you a giant stack of receipts he had kept in his clipboard.
11. Jump to let the other dog out every 5 minutes because he keeps seeing BUNNIES in the yard and rings the bells to go out, which, after years of training, also means I HAVE to let him out, or he will forget what the damn bells are there for.
12. Yell at spouse to put the effing dogs in their kennels or you will eat them for lunch.
13. Spend the next 3 hours firmly attached to office chair and muddle through online tax program, thanking God that you can access everyone's old information through the saved files on your desktop.
14. Curse program because WHY DOES IT HAVE TO CHANGE EVERY YEAR?????
15. Realize you are getting money BACK (WOOHOO!!!) because months of lectures paid off and spouse saved every receipt possible down to the $1.02 cash receipt from the hardware store. That, and the fact that mileage is deductible at 48.5 cents per mile means spouse can make money just driving around the block.
16. File online.
17. Get notification that you have to file on PAPER because the IRS says your birthdate doesn't match their records, neither does your spouses name match his social because GOD FORBID if they update their records!!!
And finally
18. Call travel agent and arrange post-tax season trip to anywhere else but home because, dammit, you deserve it!!
posted by Todd and Amy | 1:55 PM
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