Becky Homecky Volume 7 - How To Really Piss Off Your Ex

It was decided that a top 10 list was necessary for this one, though it should be a top 100 list. I DID decide to edit a bit:

10. Get ex fired from job for lying on application where it says "check here if you owe child support" by filing a child support judgment against his income.

9. When his house goes into foreclosure so your marital lien will be bumped off if you don't buy out the first two liens (yeah, like I had 300 grand just laying around), sell your lien to someone who hates your ex and wants revenge for something else. When ex tries to commit mortgage fraud to get around lien, have new lien holder sue and win $40,000 settlement.

8. Marry a man who is EXACTLY ex's opposite and make sure child adores him and thinks he is the toughest, smartest, baddest dude EVER.

7. Hire feisty Jewish attorney who says things in front of ex in court just to watch him squirm.

6. Have wonderful new husband participate in many school activities, such as Cub Scouts, and build really cool Pinewood Derby Car with child that comes in second (rather than last).

5. Take child on lots of family vacations where he goes on and on for weeks about how much fun it was to everyone who will listen.

4. Find out from "Secret Investigator" where ex is now working and submit judgment against new company and receive $2400 of the money he owes you. Drop in the bucket, I know, but it was the best piece of mail I have received in YEARS. I believe my final divorce papers rate only slightly higher.

3. Help County Attorney set up case against ex and watch with glee as the judge finds him in contempt of court for non payment of child support and places a 90 day stayed sentence over his head if he misses one more payment.

2. Constantly tell child that you love him and that he is the best little boy in the world and work your hardest to be the best parents you can.

and the number one way to really piss of your ex:

1. Be happy, it's the one thing he'll hate the most!